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Emotional
Intelligence & Preschoolers
Emotional intelligence involves understanding your feelings, managing your feelings,
motivating yourself, and productively persisting in the face of setbacks.
Emotional
intelligence, as Daniel Goleman stated in his book of that title, may be more important than IQ.
As parents, we have a responsibility to help our children become aware emotional beings who believe
they can develop their emotional intelligence by working at it. Again and again, our children need to hear these basic messages:
wisely see and accept challenges, be proactive, and learn from the mistakes you make.
We are our children’s
emotional coaches; we can teach thinking skills involved in emotional intelligence. Gone are the days when we thought, for
example, a very angry person was just born that way and we might as well accept it. Yes, we are born predisposed to a certain
temperament, but our brains are constantly rewiring and changing as we learn and grow. A person’s genetic makeup may
lean toward shy or outgoing, optimistic or pessimistic, moody or even-tempered. But we change and we can intentionally stretch
and grow; we are not defined solely by our genetic makeup.
Emotional coaching relies on a warm and nurtured relationship
between you and your child. A close, open parent-child relationship makes it easier and more natural to teach emotional skills
and it’s the foundation upon which your child learns.
Everyday interactions can
build and strengthen your relationship with your child
Hugging and touching frequently
Enjoying fun, relaxed time together.
Sharing
about your daily experiences.
Listening carefully and empathetically.
Respecting and validating your child’s feelings.
Explaining your own feelings in an age- and situation-appropriate way.
Providing positive examples of managing emotions and motivations.
Teaching specific skills is important, too. You can, for example, name your child’s feelings
while she is learning to understand them - "You feel sad that daddy had to go to work, you wanted him to stay and play".
As she matures, you can ask her to talk about her feelings while you listen. We can teach children to understand that at first
onset, our strong emotions flood powerfully over us. If we can wait about 90 seconds for the flood to subside, we have
the ability to choose whether to let the emotion remain very strong, to do something productive to change the situation, or
to just let the emotion pass by. That’s how our brains work.
www.thinkparenting.com
What else would
you like to learn about?
Let us know and we will try to
include it soon. Send your comments to Info@YHCC-LB.com
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